1st! The sermon that Sister Wan Ping preached yesterday was Awesome!!! I learnt so many thing and it actually made me happy!! I was emo from Friday night la! The sermon taught me that whatever i am suffering is to refine me into a better person!!! It reminded me that whenever i am down, i can always look for my Father, My God!He is always there for me. Favorite quote of the day, " I have a weak leg, but a strong Father"!!
2nd!! Radical conference 2011!!! WEEEE~~@@!! Don't miss it!! I'm counting down!!Left with 5 more days!!! Still Praying for those whom i have invited to say yes!!! yes, yes,yes!! Please!!!! Praying!! I'm not going to be late for this! Its a big event and its going to be a blast!!! You want come ? PM mmeee on facebook if not invited!!! hehe ^^ my class about 5-9 ppl coming!!
3rd!!this is a conversation i had with someone(2people )la, lazy type everthing.!!
me: i just feel so usless and dumb
- its like as each day passes,i find more and more reason to hate myself
- just like i tweeted.
- then my mood swing like keep changing then i super stress keep shouting at my classmates also when its not their fault.
- its like, i dun wan be UC or YGSP student nor a class councilor anymore i just want to gain respect from the class mates and be normal. i find myslef useless. its like i am laughing at myself. Its like when i look back for the past 6 months i find myself like doing nth.not respected like tat. like people come to me when they need help only.then i want to like resign but then its like my mum will be sad.its like i am not wanted by so many ppl. its like i am like ah dong arul and laila. in the class councilor but hated by students
its like i want to cry but i dun wan to be alive i want to be dead like my dad.
everytime i see post of my pri sch friends who cut themself i want to do it too! but i want to keep doing it till i die!
i just dk what to do anymore. always my worries will be gone on sat and sun but when ever i lose my temper it comes back.the big list of why i hate myself and why others hate me.i even go to the extend in which i doubt my friendship with them?i wonder are they my friend cause of Faye?wan xuan?shi ying?or me as a vice chair or me?really me? somehow i find ppl talking behind my back. and u noe they just dun trust me! accuse me some more of putting a paper in Laila's wb saying stop being a teachers pet!and i told her it was not me? she didnt believe and i can tell u she said - this in her mind.i didnt noe u were a liar!how could i have been ur friend
- . looking at her face i noe she doesnt like me anymore!
A big thanks to Ethan and Yu Ze for cheering me up that night!!! hehe ^^ the only two ppl i saw online on FB late late @ night!!
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