The worst day ever.

Today.

Yes.

Today is the worst day ever.

What happened?

Parents Teacher Meeting Happened.


So  lost. I don't know where am I.

The best place to be now, would definitely be the place my dad's at.

Living in this world, is definitely not the best and wont be the best.

Its full of hate, lies, anger ( this world I mean)

Yes, although I would have to die to be there, At least my dad knows the truth. At least..he does.

I mean yes, he would be disappointed with my result just like how my mum is. At least he knows the truth - unlike my mum who doesn't know anything and choose to believe my teachers who know nothing over me.


At least my dad know where is the line.

At least he understands.

And if he was alive, he would Stand Up for me. He wont let others bully me...like what is happening now.

Now.. everything just hit bottom rock.

I just want to scream out loud. Not be judge. Not be alone in this cruel world.

Don't want to feel this lonely, out of place, sad, and be a dispointment.

I want to feel happy once again.

I want to laugh.

I want to do well.

I want to be top in class once more.

I want to be top 50 in the cohort again. I don't want to be bottom 50. lets not even mention bottom 30.

I want my dad.

I want my mum to understand me.

I want my teachers to not be judgemental.

I want everyday to be as happy as before.

but who am I kidding. Life is just that unfair.

Freedom cancelled

Okay so guess what just happened? Last study-able paper was today and tomorrow is just listening comprehension. But guess what happened? Somebody is having a fever. A high fever 38.7 degrees Celsius. 

Not my first time but first time feeling this suckish. Normally I eat a lot when I'm sick. I play sports more than normal... But today... Eeeeek . Felt like vomiting whenever I eat. And I can't even think straight. And I had my a maths paper today :/ so I'm guessing I can't go out because I need to get well :) like really ... My June hols are alr pack . Great 

Here's a picture of the sick me. Going home now hopefully I don't faint. My leg is really really jelly today :(

Lack of update

Sorry guys! It's the exams period and well I have been really really busy. Had my English paper 1,2 , Chinese paper 1,2, Social studies paper, Maths paper 1 and chemistry paper 1 and 2 so far. All started last Wednesday. Mehhhhh I think all still okay okay only. Except for chem cause I was lazy to study diamond and graphite and they came out. 2 more days! Anusha you can do it. Okay so I have my Emaths paper 2 and Bio paper tomorrow, followed by my Amaths paper on Thursday. Honestly speaking I don't know If I'm ready for Amaths. My maths have been really suckish this year. But honesty I have been practising a maths like crazy. But I don't know. 

I guess how well i fair Thursday will determine if my classmates will continue looking down on me. 

And most probably I'm going ice skating on Wednesday. Company have not been decided.but that's not the end. There's us still English Listening Comprehension on Thur and sec 1 intern camp planning and in going to townnnnn!!! Yipeeeeeee with Olyvia and Marchelle 

That's all for today! See you guys soon! 

Do continue leve questions at my ask.fm I love them. There's a tag box at the side for you to ask! 

MYE 2013

MYE 2013 is coming...in fact, my first paper is on wednesday. Thats 1 day from now. and honestly i haven't start revising for anything other than maths. just because im so screwed up at maths.
It just feels so different this year. im not even stressed yet... im just procrastinating like a boss and that is seriously SHIT.  well... bye. im going back to maths at 345. 15 mins from now ^^ haha . hopefully... just hopefully :)

I'm improving

SO here's a little survey i conducted recently hahah among my close friends... because i felt like if i had change, they would know the change and would have felt it the most. So lets take a look at what they have to say. I actually posted this question on my twitter and i actually, Whatsapp and smsed them.

 The question : in what change have you noticed about me? :) Please reply as detailed as possible not like Eugenia ...one word reply><

Jie Lin - Mmmmmmmm. More self conscious bout yourself. Always trying to lose weight even though you're really very skinny alr. Don't you dare disagree with me on that. HAHAHAHAH. Mmmmmmmmmm. Always looking at the negative side of things. Think too much ( lesser compared to last year )

Eugenia :
Hmm you became more accepting in some ways 

->Hmm you accept things easier in some ways like somewhat you're used to it that you just accept it. Hmm you became more optimistic in some ways.

Laila : Ur attitude?  Remember last time we were some what on different sides?  Over the 3 years you become more humble(?).  And also I got to know the better side of you.  Last time I tot u were just a freaking noisy girl hu like to shout in high pitch.  Now i noe that only in high pitch u can shout.

Cynee -
Ermmmm you are more cheerful and not like the last time emo girl . 👍😊

Jency:
U seem way more lesser emotional than before :)Thats one huge change i see ^^

Wan xuan : change is the only constant. so what if you have changed XD its normal for you and me and everyone else too :)

Ernest: Nothing much laa,just that you need improvement in some of your leadership ability or you will get judge as a leader easily :)  maybe i am not close enough to understand more about you so yaa

so in conclusion, yes i have changed. im more happier compared to last year :PP and yes...im actually becoming more emotional now fr the past week..but its okay. i'll be happy soon again. As you can see from what everyone else said. all except or wan xuan ( forever making me happy only ) and Ernest ( no idea how he misread the questions and stated my flaws out instead). Here you go! im not perfect and never was..just in case you wanna know m flaws. read Ernest's comment again!

Ending off with some wise words from Cynee: Sometimes or one day, everythingwill come crashing down on you. So it's okay. As long as you know you can do it, you will be strong again.

PDS outing 2012

soooo we went sentosa! hahaha i went later with eugenia and clarence causee...i needed to go school to do maths with my teacher XD

anyway..what we did:
-playing @ sentosa silso beach
- getting ic cream
- going mac
- luge
-visting the exterior of ifly cause it was closed
-long john
 .
 .
 .
HTHT


hahah :) pcitures again...im just that lazy...and i believe instead of reading the craps of what i have to say..the picture has more words to it ^^

no idea why, i was laughing.

my face after laughing.

the boys at first..

what happened in the end.

panda,escaping

afiq, came over to help

haziq, the mastermind

haziq, clearly enjoying this

close up view of panda's face

iqbal to the rescue!

nia playing with the water

shahid's BHB shirt

till next time :) XOXO

Passing our parade 2013

This post...will be... a very teary post. The Senior Cadet Leaders, sec 4s, stepped down last friday, 26/april/2013. This would mean..its our turn, the sec 3s, to take over the leadership role. this would also mean that friday trainings we would not be seeing our seniors anymore :( the seniors ..they played a big part in my ncc journey..taught us many things and were there  for me whenever i needed. During or after trainings..i will really miss them. Honestly, their batch...is very strong..im really scared..we cant do as well..but im sure we can..right?

Friday..was also the first official parade Eugenia had,as the USM. hahahah. pictures with description coming up. all photos were taken from facebook - shafizah's account.

us, appointment holders sitting at the back when it wasn't our turn :)

Girls :) - PDS girls :)

PDS jumpshot..hahah only sec 2 jumping. this was the non jumping shot yet..shall not post the jumpshot... not that glam uh..

flag bearer xie ting and escorts , me and mohnish 

another one with camera girl of the day :)

here is a picture of eugenia :) giving instructions!

HAPPY LABOUR DAY

Hello :)) heheheh *_* im sorry guys! hahaha im aware that it has been 2 months since i blog...and yes... i am extremely apologised and no, i never forgot about this blog okay?

i just spent like 1hour plus changing the template of this blog. Hopefully, this time, its easier for you to read the words! it was such a headache. it never used to be this never wrecking... will probably change the header..when i get a chance to take a picture...a better picture :)

sooooo... sec 3...this year is basically...shit. but on the bright side, i made new friends and improving :) School is...school. hahaha, maths is definitely taking a big toll on me. I need to put in more effort already...and i found the motivation. THANK YOU WAN XUAN! FOR BEING THERE FOR ME YESTERDAY. IT WAS SO HARD WALKING BESIDE AND WANTING TO SAY SOMETHING BUT I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO START THE CONVERSATION  THANK YOU FOR BEING A GOOD FRIEND AND KNOWS THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME :) THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING THAT IM NOT STUPID AND THAT I NEED MORE TIME TO UNDERSTAND AND THAT I CAN DO IT. THANKS FOR HAVING THE FAITH IN ME :D


To: People laughing at me

Just watch. watch me. im not going to be affected by your words anymore. i can do it. and i will show you i can.


Enough of all these talks ...look out for my new post... soon. hahaha i really mean it. kidding one will be up in 15mins time. just because there's so much to say, it has been really a long time.